(CNN) --
When I was 13, I was sold.
Friends of my father worked for a
corrupt adoption agency operating in my homeland of Ethiopia -- friends my
father trusted. In 2006 they coerced him into believing he was sending my
younger sisters and me to America for an educational program during which we
would come home every summer and on school breaks.
Little did my father know that his
"friends" were being paid to recruit children for an American
adoption agency. In fact, he didn't even know what "adoption" meant.
Instead of an educational program, we found ourselves caught up in an
international adoption scandal.
We weren't the only ones lied to.
The family who adopted us, who lived in the southwestern United States, were
told that they were taking into their family three AIDS orphans, the oldest of
whom was nine years old. The truth was that our mother had died from
complications during childbirth, and our father was alive and well. Instead of
nine, I was 13 years old; my sisters were 11 and six.
Tarikuwa Lemma
Our new "parents" changed
our names and told us we could no longer speak to each other in our own
languages; we were punished if we disobeyed. Eventually, we forgot how to speak
our native languages, Amarigna and Wolaytta.
I was so young and naïve. I actually
believed that if I ran away, I could walk back to Ethiopia.
Tarikuwa Lemma
Tarikuwa Lemma
I was so young and naïve. I actually
believed that if I ran away, I could walk back to Ethiopia. I wanted to escape
from the people I felt had kidnapped us from our homeland, our culture, and our
family. I was angry, hurt and grieving.
After eight months, I was "re-homed," without my sisters, to live with my adoptive mother's parents in the Midwest. I have only seen my sisters a handful of times since.
Living in the Midwest was difficult.
I had been taken from my family in Ethiopia, and then separated from my
sisters. But instead of getting caught up in my depression, I threw myself into
finding ways to let the world know the hard truths about corruption in
international adoption.
My second adoption placement did not
work out either, and at 18, while still in high school, I found myself staying
on a friend's floor. A family in Maine, who I met through adoption reform work,
offered to take me in. So I moved my few possessions and myself across the
country again.
Supporters of international adoption
frequently mention the enormous numbers of orphans in the world -- UNICEF
estimates there are 151 million orphans. What most people don't realize is that
when the United Nations determines the figures for orphans, they include
children who have lost just one parent (the U.N. estimates only 18 million have
lost both parents).
I assure you that I did not consider
myself an orphan. My sisters and I had a father, a brother and older sisters,
plus a large extended family that cared for us and loved us. We were middle
class by Ethiopian standards, not poor. We, and many other adoptees like us,
should never have been placed for adoption.
Had my father's friends not made
money from the placement of my sisters and me for adoption, none of this ever
would have happened.
Tarikuwa Lemma
Tarikuwa Lemma
All the lies and deception comes
down to money. I have discovered since my adoption, the price paid by adoptive
parents is exorbitant and feeds the corruption. Had my father's friends not
made money from the placement of my sisters and me for adoption, none of this
ever would have happened. They were basically paid to create orphans. Depending
upon the country, an adoption can cost upwards of $50,000. Imagine what that
kind of money could do to help struggling families in developing nations keep
their children!
Adding the horror of being sold for
profit, I now know that parents pay far more to adopt a white child than an
African-American child. A
2010 study by Caltech, the London School of Economics,
and New York University showed that parents are willing to pay an average of
$38,000 more for a non-African American baby. Let me call that what it is:
Racism.
In spite of everything I have
suffered, I am determined to make something good out of my life. I just started
college and I am writing a book about my experiences. I am fighting to change
the way adoption agencies do business. I am fighting to make sure that families
and adoptive families know the truth about the possibilities of fraud and human
trafficking in adoption.
I am fighting to make sure that no
other child will have to endure what I have been through. And I am saving up
money so that I can reunite with my family in
Ethiopia, whom I haven't seen for
seven years.
And I went to court and got my real
name back.
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